Are We Praying or Complaining? Part 2

The other day I began looking at Moses complaining. I want to continue today. Let's look at the passage again.

Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me?  Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me,‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers?  Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’  I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.  If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.”

Moses now begins to complain about how "he" is going to give them meat. Again, remembering that there are 600,000 people, did he honestly believe that God expected him to give the people meat? Sometimes we don't look at situation realistically. Unless you are one the richest people in the world AND have access to that kind of food supply, it's not going to happen for anyone! God did not expect Moses to give them meat - that was a "burden" the Lord never meant for him to have. Sometimes our burdens are of our own making.

Moses then goes back to the complaint of this burden. He says it is so great that God should just kill him right there so that Moses won't see his own wretchedness. Notice that I highlighted certain portions of the Scriptures. Moses emphasis is not on the people, or not even on God. No, his emphasis is on himself. "Poor, little me! Take my life and be done with it!" It's easy to feel that way when we take on the weight of the world which is something God NEVER intends for us to do. God gives us what we need, including the burdens we need, so that we may rely upon Him and not ourselves.

Too many times we think we are praying but in all honesty it's complaining. We need to remember Whom we are addressing: the God of the Universe, the One Who redeemed us, the One Who created us. Moses begins with accusation and then just rattles on. He never gives God the chance to respond. How many times do I do that with God? Unfortunately too many. This prayer is focused on Moses - I do that as well. I focus on me and not on the Lord. 

My mother died many years ago from a disease called scleroderma. It caused her a great deal of pain before her death. I can remember her sitting at the kitchen table just crying from the pain. But she would begin to pray (not about the pain) just to talk to God. The tears would go away and a slow joy would spread over her face. Had the pain gone? No, unfortunately, but her mind and heart were settled on something greater, her Lord. She could face it knowing that He was right there carrying her, holding her tightly to Himself, knowing that He had already sacrificed the greatest He could for her. 

This has been a challenge to me to 1) take the time to talk to God  2) wait for a response from God  3) always address Him as He rightly deserves and 4) NEVER accuse God of doing something wrong because He never does. I'm reminded of these verses in Romans 8:28-29 as I close:

 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.

Are We Praying or Complaining? Part 1

This morning my reading had me in Numbers 11 where the children of Israel are complaining again. They want to go back to Egypt because they don't have any meat to eat here in the wilderness. As a group of people they complain quite often; you get used to reading it. But something else struck me as I read this morning. Moses complained in Numbers 11:11-15

Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me,‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’  I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.”

He was tired and felt the burden of this people.Was that wrong? No, there were over 600,000 people and one man being concerned for their welfare is bound to feel burdened. But notice the way he complained.

Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me?  Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me,‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers?  Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’  I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me.  If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.”

The first thing we notice is Moses telling God that He is dealing ill with him, His servant. Moses is accusing God of not treating him right! After all that Moses had seen God do thus far in his life, including all the plagues in Egypt, which God kept from the children of Israel, he felt God was being unfair. "You are not treating Me right!" I have to confess there are many times in my life where I have done just that. I felt that God was being unfair to me and He had no reason to do it.

Tangent:  I was going to write that life is never fair. But I can't. I just started another Bible study on the Gospel of John and in verse 4 it says:

 In him was life, and the life was the light of men.

God does all things well. And if I want to to talk about things being unfair, people are unfair. If I say God is unfair, I better define how He is unfair. He is "unfair" in that He allows sinners to be saved by His grace, redeeming them by the precious blood of His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and making them righteous enough to be called the children of God, and allowing them to live eternally with Him. As sinful men, they don't deserve ANY of that. But He graciously gives it to them. I wish I could be that unfair to those around me.

Back from tangent: One thing Moses got right in that sentence is that He is God's servant. It's a good reminder for me: I am God's SERVANT first. I am not His equal. When He saved me, He bought me with the life of His very own Son. I am a servant for life. A servant does what he is told.

Moses then goes on to accuse God of not finding favor in Moses and laying the burden of this people on him. Moses seems to overlook the fact that he gets to talk with God and behold His form (Numbers 12:8). No one else in Israel had that privilege. Moses was indeed in great favour with God.

God never lays burdens on us that He knows we can't handle without Him. He says in Matthew 11:30

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

God allows burdens in our lives that we may rely upon Him for the strength we need. Did God want Moses to love the children of Israel as a mother loves her nursing child? Yes, but to carry the weight of the responsibility for caring for them on his own? No, he, and we, are too look to God because in and of ourselves we cannot do it on our own.

Here I Am

This year as part of my devotions, I have decided to write down (by hand) all the prayers in the Bible. Prayer, as we know, is just talking to God. So it's very interesting to see what people say to God. Thus far (I've just started Exodus), most of the talking is done by God. The human part of it is usually very brief.

As I was reading in Exodus 3, I came along Moses and the Lord talking. And something very strange struck me. Most of the times I have noticed that God is the One who initiates the conversation. And almost always the answer He receives is, "Here I am."

It suddenly dawned on me that this is the answer God is always looking for. If you go back to the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3, God calls out to Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" They should have said, "Here we are," but instead they started making excuses - "I was afraid," "The woman you gave me, " "The serpent deceived me."

When we are right with God, our immediate answer to Him will be, "Here I am." When we aren't, excuses are easy to come up with: "I'm tired," "It's his turn, not mine," "What about them?"

God has chosen us, redeemed us, called us to be His children. But we are also the servants of Christ. The apostles saw this and this is how they addressed themselves.

I am very thankful to be a daughter of the king, but sometimes I think we get caught up on the "child" side and forget about the "servant" side. Christ has called us to take up our cross and follow Him. Does it mean that I'm going to die today? Literally, probably not, but to die to myself so that I may say to Him, "Here I am," - yes.

I was going to say that's all He's asking for, but He never asked. It was a command; it's not a choice. The choice is only in whether I am going to be obedient or not. When I say, "Here I am," I am saying to God do with me what You will. That's when He can use us. That's when He will be glorified. That's when I can see Him for Who He is.

Critical to My Christian Life

Yesterday a friend asked me what I would say is the best habit to have spiritually in your life and what is an attitude that I think is crucial. My response for the best habit was to spend time daily in the Word of God as the Spirit can use it to change us. And going along that same line, the best attitude would be to have a teachable attitude, i.e. "Lord, teach me whatever it is You want me to learn and change me."

After thinking about it some more, I really believe what I said. The thing is a habit is not too difficult to develop. Meeting with the Lord at the same time every day so that I can be in His Word has not been too hard. If I don't spend time in His Word I really miss it. It's a part of me.

But to approach the Word with a teachable attitude is not as easy. I think it may be simpler to just read the Word. And that for me is easy. I love to read. Even though I've read through the Scriptures a number of times, I still enjoy reading them. So here is the scary part: I CAN read them and walk away UNCHANGED.

I do believe the Spirit uses the Word to change us and I believe He has been changing me through the years. But this answer has made me question myself. Have I changed as much as I could have? Obviously the answer is no, but I think I may have hit upon a great hindrance - myself being teachable. I have not come as that teachable person, but as a good Christian woman wanting to do what she knows she should - spending time reading the Word of God each day.

To develop the habit of asking the Lord to teach me whatever it is He wants me to learn and to change me? I am challenged by my own words, realizing how very far I fall short of doing this. I know the Scriptures where it says,

      Your word is a lamp to my feet

    And a light to my path.  Psalm 119:105

and

      Your word I have hidden in my heart,
    That I might not sin against You.   Psalm 119:11

But do I put these into practice? Is His Word a lamp for my feet? Is it a light for my path? Yes, I memorize Scriptures but is it really so that I won't sin against Him?

I want to be quiet and ask Him to teach me so that I might truly know Him better. It's what He desires and yet I often forget it. I NEED to ask Him to teach me. When I approach Him with a teachable frame of mind, it puts me in the place I need to be: humble before Him and open to what He wants to say; what He wants to teach me... personally. 

For Your Sake

This morning my devotions took me to one of my favourite chapters in the Bible: Romans 8. This chapter is packed full of encouragement! I love it and usually walk away from it thoroughly encouraged ready to take on whatever the Lord has in mind for me, hopefully in His strength.

But this morning a portion of it caught my eye and it's right in the middle of the last part where it talks about not being separated from the love of God. In verse 36 there is a quotation from the Old Testament, Psalm 44:22:

          "For Your sake we are killed all day long; 
        We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."

Do you see what that says? WE ARE KILLED ALL DAY LONG - WE ARE... SHEEP FOR THE SLAUGHTER!

Let me go back a little. Verse 35 says,

      "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
    Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or
     famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"

I went slowly through this verse and I realized each thing was getting a little worse than the one before. But then you go on to the next verse. I am supposed to be willing to die every day for His sake. Living in North America I don't "see that need." I have all the freedoms I want, especially the freedoms of worshipping Who I want to worship, when I want to worship and where.

Why would He put that there? Because I need to be willing to die for His sake. Die to this world, die to me, and if need be, litterally let my life be taken for Him. Because His love is worth it. In this same chapter He tells us that we have NOT received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the Spirit of adoption so that I can call Him my Daddy.

This chapter IS full of encouragement, but it also tells me the road is not easy. I shouldn't expect an easy life. I was not born for that. But I was born to be His child and NOTHING can separate me from His love. So when the hard times come, and they do (and in fact are here now), I can rest in His love and be at peace tho the world around me is in chaos and my body itself is failing. He is faithful! And He loves me!

Apply the Blood

I know that sounds really gruesome for a title but it's really applicable for me this morning, and actually every day.

Recently the Lord has been taking me through a time of pointing out my sins. It has NOT been a pleasant time. Each morning in my inbox I receive a devotional entitled Tozer on Christian Leadership. It's excellent and I usually enjoy them, but almost always find them very challenging. Recently we went through a series entitled Spiritual Warfare And Sin. It was VERY CONVICTING.

On top of that I have been reading a book by Jerry Bridges entitled, Respectable Sins. Another book that touches too close to home.

Then to top it off is the Word of God. Yesterday, He had me in 1 Corinthians, particularly chapter 13.

As I began to read through the "love is..." and "love is not...", greater conviction fell. I felt like I was drowning in my own sinfulness. It's so easy to say I don't do the big sins: Murder, Adultery, Stealing, Lying, etc. but what about the other ones... Ungodliness, Anxiety, Frustrations, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, etc. (Thank you very much, Jerry Bridges!)? Or this statement, "Every man is as close to God as he wants to be; he is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he wills to be...." (Thank you, Mr. Tozer). And finally,

            "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love
        does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not 
        behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, 
        thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices 
        in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes
        all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

I felt like had failed my friends, my family, my God. I could never live up to being the woman He wants me to be. My own sinfulness, my flesh, is keeping me from it. I can see now why Paul wrote in Romans 7,

           O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from
        this body of death?

Yet God is SOOOOOOOOO faithful! This morning in Let's Take a Walk Together I was on Day 129 - Apply the Blood. Eunice Free has a way of writing that I feel she's right there with me. As I read through it, she reminded me of the blood Jesus shed. She came right out and asked, "Have you applied the blood of Jesus Christ to your own sinful heart?"

I know I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Saviour; I did that as a girl of 9. BUT I still wrestle with this sinful flesh and I will continue to do so until He takes me home. But there is hope (1John 1:7):

            ... and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses
        us from all sin.

The thing is: I NEED TO CONFESS AND REMEMBER JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR ALL OF THOSE SINS - BIG AND SMALL, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE SINS. I cannot live a holy life on my own, but it's only by His grace and strength that I can. Paul could go on to say,

           I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I can too!

BRING IT ON

M and I are travelling through the States on our way to a conference. As we're driving we're listening to some of our older CDs. We just heard the song Bring It On by Steve Camp. As I listened to the words, I began to wonder if Steve would have written them knowing what he and his family would face years later.


Here is the chorus:

Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll,
let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on


For those of you who don't know just a few years ago the Chapman family lost one of their children in a car accident. She was only 5 years old.


Sometimes I think, LORD, I'm willing to go through whatever you want me to go through. BUT don't take my family through hard times. Don't let my children suffer. Don't let them know hard times. Let my husband, M, not struggle. Let their path be of peace and no pain. This is what I want, but I realize this is not what is good.


Christ has said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.” It's very interesting to me that when He said this to His disciples, He had not yet been crucified. What must they have thought? To follow Christ, they had to deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Him. They were familiar with crucifixion. The Romans had seen to that. I don't think we'll ever know the extent of the severity of the pain, suffering and humiliation that went on as a person died on a cross. Our age has nothing to compare with it.


Yet to this is what Christ called them and us. “Deny self and take up your cross.” We can never know the full extent of what the cross entails until we take it up ourselves. My cross will differ from yours in that my strength, my weaknesses are different from yours. Yet Christ does not leave us alone to carry it by ourselves.


He has also said, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He never meant for us to carry it by ourselves. He wants us to rely upon His strength. The whole point is to acknowledge that I can't carry it. Only He can walk me through it.


What Steve and his family went through, he would never wish on anyone. Yet they have come through it. Two portions of the song Bring It On are:


'Cause I know I've got an enemy waiting
Who wants to bring me pain
But what he never seems to remember
What he means for evil God works for good
So I will not retreat or surrender


Now, I don't want to sound like some hero
'Cause it's God alone that my hope is in
But I'm not gonna run from the very things
That would drive me closer to Him
So bring it on


THE VERY THINGS THAT WOULD DRIVE ME CLOSER TO HIM...


Do we realize that? The cross that we carry drives me closer to Him. It literally chases me into His arms where I can cry and learn of His peace, and receive the rest and contentment that only He can give in those times.



LORD, I can't do it on my own, but whatever You've got planned, bring it on.