Apply the Blood

I know that sounds really gruesome for a title but it's really applicable for me this morning, and actually every day.

Recently the Lord has been taking me through a time of pointing out my sins. It has NOT been a pleasant time. Each morning in my inbox I receive a devotional entitled Tozer on Christian Leadership. It's excellent and I usually enjoy them, but almost always find them very challenging. Recently we went through a series entitled Spiritual Warfare And Sin. It was VERY CONVICTING.

On top of that I have been reading a book by Jerry Bridges entitled, Respectable Sins. Another book that touches too close to home.

Then to top it off is the Word of God. Yesterday, He had me in 1 Corinthians, particularly chapter 13.

As I began to read through the "love is..." and "love is not...", greater conviction fell. I felt like I was drowning in my own sinfulness. It's so easy to say I don't do the big sins: Murder, Adultery, Stealing, Lying, etc. but what about the other ones... Ungodliness, Anxiety, Frustrations, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, etc. (Thank you very much, Jerry Bridges!)? Or this statement, "Every man is as close to God as he wants to be; he is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he wills to be...." (Thank you, Mr. Tozer). And finally,

            "Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love
        does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not 
        behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, 
        thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices 
        in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes
        all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

I felt like had failed my friends, my family, my God. I could never live up to being the woman He wants me to be. My own sinfulness, my flesh, is keeping me from it. I can see now why Paul wrote in Romans 7,

           O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from
        this body of death?

Yet God is SOOOOOOOOO faithful! This morning in Let's Take a Walk Together I was on Day 129 - Apply the Blood. Eunice Free has a way of writing that I feel she's right there with me. As I read through it, she reminded me of the blood Jesus shed. She came right out and asked, "Have you applied the blood of Jesus Christ to your own sinful heart?"

I know I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Saviour; I did that as a girl of 9. BUT I still wrestle with this sinful flesh and I will continue to do so until He takes me home. But there is hope (1John 1:7):

            ... and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses
        us from all sin.

The thing is: I NEED TO CONFESS AND REMEMBER JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR ALL OF THOSE SINS - BIG AND SMALL, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE SINS. I cannot live a holy life on my own, but it's only by His grace and strength that I can. Paul could go on to say,

           I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

I can too!