My daily Bible reading is slowly taking me through the book of Acts and for that I am grateful because I am seeing things I have never seen before. Here is what caught my eye this morning:
“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit..." But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.
Here is Stephen declaring the history of the Jews to the priests and Pharisees. But as he brings them to the current time, he points out who they really are: stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears. AND so much so that they resist the Holy Spirit. He on the other hand had chosen to submit himself to the mighty Hand of God and resist the devil. His faith was in Christ alone and because he chose to make that stand, God allowed him to see His glory and the Lord Jesus fully exalted. He is then murdered by those who cannot tolerate being accused of such things.
I was thoroughly enjoying the reading and the Lord showing me the contrast between the two when the Spirit gently poked me. "Which one are you?" Now, wait a minute. This is about the self-righteous Jews and a man who has trusted the Lord Jesus as his Saviour. I definitely fall on the "Stephen" side. But, God, being kind and gentle, pushed a little harder. "You stiff-necked people." I cannot deny it; that is me. "You always resist the Holy Spirit." No, that's not me! But is it?
When the Spirit prompts me using that still small voice of His, do I always listen? And even if I listen do I always obey? Unfortunately, the answer is more often no than yes.
WHY? Because I have pressing matters to which I must attend. I would rather sleep in than spend time talking over things with God before I get going on my day. My schedule is set and there is nothing sinful in it; all the things I have planned to do are good. So I go throughout the day not even thinking of Him, much less talking to Him about what is going on. I deserve this break to watch what I want; I have been busy working for the Lord. I am to exhausted to take time to read and pray before I go to sleep. And the next day has begun. As I was rereading this paragraph, the "I"s really hit me.
Don't get me wrong. I take time each day to spend in His Word. I feel like I can't live without it. I don't say this to boast; it's a fact. But to sit and actually listen to Him? Not usually. A number of times this week different people have quoted the first part of verse Psalm 46:10,
Be still, and know that I am God...
I know the Spirit is wanting to get my attention. I am a mediocre Christian. But I am not a great Christian. I am stiff-necked, wanting to have my own way and freaking out when it doesn't go the way I think it should. No, I don't throw tantrums. No, my way of freaking out is much more quiet and internal. I hold it in and then my body pays the cost. You see, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. When I worry and panic, my body hurts and I have no strength. I become useless. But there is one way that I can be useful; I can spend that time before my Lord, talking and listening to Him. The question is will I?
I don't want to be like the Pharisees; I truly want to be like Stephen. I want to see God in all His glory. I want to see the Lord Jesus standing by His side. I want to be yielding completely to the Spirit of God. The great thing about all of these wants is I know that is what He wants too. The question is still the same, will I yield and be full of Him?
