This morning I am struggling with the concept of faith. Not that I've stopped believing in God or anything like that. It's just I say I believe God, I believe in Him, but I know that my actions don't always say that. It's so easy for me to tell someone this is what you should do because that's what the Bible says, BUT when it comes to me, the story is different.
Yesterday I read about the woman who came up to Jesus, believing that if she just touched the fringe of his cloak, she would be made well. And she was! But He wanted her to come to Him. So He asked, "Who touched me?" Knowing that she had been discovered she came forward and confessed everything. Why did He have her do that? So that she could know she was more than just someone to be healed; she was someone special to Him and she needed to know that.
I have the flu right now and have not been able to sleep well for days. Yet it didn't hit me until this morning to ask the Lord to heal me. Why? Because I don't believe He can? No, I do believe He can, but as I thought through it even more I began to think do I have any right to ask Him for that. I have an uncle who was just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. His sister just died from that same disease 4 months ago. I have a dear, dear friend who has ovarian cancer. Her mom and sister have both died from it. The doctors have told her there is nothing they can do for her anymore. I cry out to God for them. They need healing - they need it now. But me I'll get through this.
Or is that the problem: "I'll" get through this. I'm not looking to Him, but looking to me and to the meds that I'm taking. Has this generation of Christian become so dependent upon the "healings" that we offer through meds, that we don't even consider the Great Physician any more.
I was talking to my daughter about this and she reminded me of some scenarios when she was a child. She said, "Mom, do you remember when I was little and cut myself near my eye? You took me to the ER to get it taken care of right away. Do you remember when CJ came to you crying about his finger really hurting and you couldn't even see anything wrong? Both of us needed care and you gave us both the love and care that we needed. CJ got a band-aid even though he didn't need one. and I got my stitches. But in both cases you were the mom who loved us and gave us what we needed. Don't make God more complicated than He is. He loves us all as His children and He gives what we need."
I'm very thankful for my daughter. It was what I needed to hear. I am asking for healing from the flu, thankful that I can go to my Father with my little cares and that He still cares even about the little things. I'm thankful too that I can go to Him with the big cares like my uncle and my friend. Will any of us be healed? That's His decision; my part is to just trust Him with us all.
