Moses said to the Lord, “Why have you dealt ill with your servant? And why have I not found favor in your sight, that you lay the burden of all this people on me? Did I conceive all this people? Did I give them birth, that you should say to me,‘Carry them in your bosom, as a nurse carries a nursing child,’ to the land that you swore to give their fathers? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me and say, ‘Give us meat, that we may eat.’ I am not able to carry all this people alone; the burden is too heavy for me. If you will treat me like this, kill me at once, if I find favor in your sight, that I may not see my wretchedness.”
Moses now begins to complain about how "he" is going to give them meat. Again, remembering that there are 600,000 people, did he honestly believe that God expected him to give the people meat? Sometimes we don't look at situation realistically. Unless you are one the richest people in the world AND have access to that kind of food supply, it's not going to happen for anyone! God did not expect Moses to give them meat - that was a "burden" the Lord never meant for him to have. Sometimes our burdens are of our own making.
Moses then goes back to the complaint of this burden. He says it is so great that God should just kill him right there so that Moses won't see his own wretchedness. Notice that I highlighted certain portions of the Scriptures. Moses emphasis is not on the people, or not even on God. No, his emphasis is on himself. "Poor, little me! Take my life and be done with it!" It's easy to feel that way when we take on the weight of the world which is something God NEVER intends for us to do. God gives us what we need, including the burdens we need, so that we may rely upon Him and not ourselves.
Too many times we think we are praying but in all honesty it's complaining. We need to remember Whom we are addressing: the God of the Universe, the One Who redeemed us, the One Who created us. Moses begins with accusation and then just rattles on. He never gives God the chance to respond. How many times do I do that with God? Unfortunately too many. This prayer is focused on Moses - I do that as well. I focus on me and not on the Lord.
My mother died many years ago from a disease called scleroderma. It caused her a great deal of pain before her death. I can remember her sitting at the kitchen table just crying from the pain. But she would begin to pray (not about the pain) just to talk to God. The tears would go away and a slow joy would spread over her face. Had the pain gone? No, unfortunately, but her mind and heart were settled on something greater, her Lord. She could face it knowing that He was right there carrying her, holding her tightly to Himself, knowing that He had already sacrificed the greatest He could for her.
This has been a challenge to me to 1) take the time to talk to God 2) wait for a response from God 3) always address Him as He rightly deserves and 4) NEVER accuse God of doing something wrong because He never does. I'm reminded of these verses in Romans 8:28-29 as I close:
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
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