This year as part of my devotions, I have decided to write down (by hand) all the prayers in the Bible. Prayer, as we know, is just talking to God. So it's very interesting to see what people say to God. Thus far (I've just started Exodus), most of the talking is done by God. The human part of it is usually very brief.
As I was reading in Exodus 3, I came along Moses and the Lord talking. And something very strange struck me. Most of the times I have noticed that God is the One who initiates the conversation. And almost always the answer He receives is, "Here I am."
It suddenly dawned on me that this is the answer God is always looking for. If you go back to the Garden of Eden in Genesis 3, God calls out to Adam and Eve, "Where are you?" They should have said, "Here we are," but instead they started making excuses - "I was afraid," "The woman you gave me, " "The serpent deceived me."
When we are right with God, our immediate answer to Him will be, "Here I am." When we aren't, excuses are easy to come up with: "I'm tired," "It's his turn, not mine," "What about them?"
God has chosen us, redeemed us, called us to be His children. But we are also the servants of Christ. The apostles saw this and this is how they addressed themselves.
I am very thankful to be a daughter of the king, but sometimes I think we get caught up on the "child" side and forget about the "servant" side. Christ has called us to take up our cross and follow Him. Does it mean that I'm going to die today? Literally, probably not, but to die to myself so that I may say to Him, "Here I am," - yes.
I was going to say that's all He's asking for, but He never asked. It was a command; it's not a choice. The choice is only in whether I am going to be obedient or not. When I say, "Here I am," I am saying to God do with me what You will. That's when He can use us. That's when He will be glorified. That's when I can see Him for Who He is.
Saturday, February 1, 2014
Monday, January 20, 2014
Critical to My Christian Life
Yesterday a friend asked me what I would say is the best habit to have spiritually in your life and what is an attitude that I think is crucial. My response for the best habit was to spend time daily in the Word of God as the Spirit can use it to change us. And going along that same line, the best attitude would be to have a teachable attitude, i.e. "Lord, teach me whatever it is You want me to learn and change me."
After thinking about it some more, I really believe what I said. The thing is a habit is not too difficult to develop. Meeting with the Lord at the same time every day so that I can be in His Word has not been too hard. If I don't spend time in His Word I really miss it. It's a part of me.
But to approach the Word with a teachable attitude is not as easy. I think it may be simpler to just read the Word. And that for me is easy. I love to read. Even though I've read through the Scriptures a number of times, I still enjoy reading them. So here is the scary part: I CAN read them and walk away UNCHANGED.
I do believe the Spirit uses the Word to change us and I believe He has been changing me through the years. But this answer has made me question myself. Have I changed as much as I could have? Obviously the answer is no, but I think I may have hit upon a great hindrance - myself being teachable. I have not come as that teachable person, but as a good Christian woman wanting to do what she knows she should - spending time reading the Word of God each day.
To develop the habit of asking the Lord to teach me whatever it is He wants me to learn and to change me? I am challenged by my own words, realizing how very far I fall short of doing this. I know the Scriptures where it says,
Your word is a lamp to my feet
and
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You. Psalm 119:11
After thinking about it some more, I really believe what I said. The thing is a habit is not too difficult to develop. Meeting with the Lord at the same time every day so that I can be in His Word has not been too hard. If I don't spend time in His Word I really miss it. It's a part of me.
But to approach the Word with a teachable attitude is not as easy. I think it may be simpler to just read the Word. And that for me is easy. I love to read. Even though I've read through the Scriptures a number of times, I still enjoy reading them. So here is the scary part: I CAN read them and walk away UNCHANGED.
I do believe the Spirit uses the Word to change us and I believe He has been changing me through the years. But this answer has made me question myself. Have I changed as much as I could have? Obviously the answer is no, but I think I may have hit upon a great hindrance - myself being teachable. I have not come as that teachable person, but as a good Christian woman wanting to do what she knows she should - spending time reading the Word of God each day.
To develop the habit of asking the Lord to teach me whatever it is He wants me to learn and to change me? I am challenged by my own words, realizing how very far I fall short of doing this. I know the Scriptures where it says,
Your word is a lamp to my feet
And a light to my path. Psalm 119:105
and
Your word I have hidden in my heart,
That I might not sin against You. Psalm 119:11
But do I put these into practice? Is His Word a lamp for my feet? Is it a light for my path? Yes, I memorize Scriptures but is it really so that I won't sin against Him?
I want to be quiet and ask Him to teach me so that I might truly know Him better. It's what He desires and yet I often forget it. I NEED to ask Him to teach me. When I approach Him with a teachable frame of mind, it puts me in the place I need to be: humble before Him and open to what He wants to say; what He wants to teach me... personally.
I want to be quiet and ask Him to teach me so that I might truly know Him better. It's what He desires and yet I often forget it. I NEED to ask Him to teach me. When I approach Him with a teachable frame of mind, it puts me in the place I need to be: humble before Him and open to what He wants to say; what He wants to teach me... personally.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
For Your Sake
This morning my devotions took me to one of my favourite chapters in the Bible: Romans 8. This chapter is packed full of encouragement! I love it and usually walk away from it thoroughly encouraged ready to take on whatever the Lord has in mind for me, hopefully in His strength.
But this morning a portion of it caught my eye and it's right in the middle of the last part where it talks about not being separated from the love of God. In verse 36 there is a quotation from the Old Testament, Psalm 44:22:
"For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."
Do you see what that says? WE ARE KILLED ALL DAY LONG - WE ARE... SHEEP FOR THE SLAUGHTER!
Let me go back a little. Verse 35 says,
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or
famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"
I went slowly through this verse and I realized each thing was getting a little worse than the one before. But then you go on to the next verse. I am supposed to be willing to die every day for His sake. Living in North America I don't "see that need." I have all the freedoms I want, especially the freedoms of worshipping Who I want to worship, when I want to worship and where.
Why would He put that there? Because I need to be willing to die for His sake. Die to this world, die to me, and if need be, litterally let my life be taken for Him. Because His love is worth it. In this same chapter He tells us that we have NOT received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the Spirit of adoption so that I can call Him my Daddy.
This chapter IS full of encouragement, but it also tells me the road is not easy. I shouldn't expect an easy life. I was not born for that. But I was born to be His child and NOTHING can separate me from His love. So when the hard times come, and they do (and in fact are here now), I can rest in His love and be at peace tho the world around me is in chaos and my body itself is failing. He is faithful! And He loves me!
But this morning a portion of it caught my eye and it's right in the middle of the last part where it talks about not being separated from the love of God. In verse 36 there is a quotation from the Old Testament, Psalm 44:22:
"For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter."
Do you see what that says? WE ARE KILLED ALL DAY LONG - WE ARE... SHEEP FOR THE SLAUGHTER!
Let me go back a little. Verse 35 says,
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or
famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?"
I went slowly through this verse and I realized each thing was getting a little worse than the one before. But then you go on to the next verse. I am supposed to be willing to die every day for His sake. Living in North America I don't "see that need." I have all the freedoms I want, especially the freedoms of worshipping Who I want to worship, when I want to worship and where.
Why would He put that there? Because I need to be willing to die for His sake. Die to this world, die to me, and if need be, litterally let my life be taken for Him. Because His love is worth it. In this same chapter He tells us that we have NOT received the spirit of bondage again to fear, but the Spirit of adoption so that I can call Him my Daddy.
This chapter IS full of encouragement, but it also tells me the road is not easy. I shouldn't expect an easy life. I was not born for that. But I was born to be His child and NOTHING can separate me from His love. So when the hard times come, and they do (and in fact are here now), I can rest in His love and be at peace tho the world around me is in chaos and my body itself is failing. He is faithful! And He loves me!
Monday, December 9, 2013
Apply the Blood
I know that sounds really gruesome for a title but it's really applicable for me this morning, and actually every day.
Recently the Lord has been taking me through a time of pointing out my sins. It has NOT been a pleasant time. Each morning in my inbox I receive a devotional entitled Tozer on Christian Leadership. It's excellent and I usually enjoy them, but almost always find them very challenging. Recently we went through a series entitled Spiritual Warfare And Sin. It was VERY CONVICTING.
On top of that I have been reading a book by Jerry Bridges entitled, Respectable Sins. Another book that touches too close to home.
Then to top it off is the Word of God. Yesterday, He had me in 1 Corinthians, particularly chapter 13.
As I began to read through the "love is..." and "love is not...", greater conviction fell. I felt like I was drowning in my own sinfulness. It's so easy to say I don't do the big sins: Murder, Adultery, Stealing, Lying, etc. but what about the other ones... Ungodliness, Anxiety, Frustrations, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, etc. (Thank you very much, Jerry Bridges!)? Or this statement, "Every man is as close to God as he wants to be; he is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he wills to be...." (Thank you, Mr. Tozer). And finally,
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love
does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not
behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,
thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices
in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
I felt like had failed my friends, my family, my God. I could never live up to being the woman He wants me to be. My own sinfulness, my flesh, is keeping me from it. I can see now why Paul wrote in Romans 7,
O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from
this body of death?
Yet God is SOOOOOOOOO faithful! This morning in Let's Take a Walk Together I was on Day 129 - Apply the Blood. Eunice Free has a way of writing that I feel she's right there with me. As I read through it, she reminded me of the blood Jesus shed. She came right out and asked, "Have you applied the blood of Jesus Christ to your own sinful heart?"
I know I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Saviour; I did that as a girl of 9. BUT I still wrestle with this sinful flesh and I will continue to do so until He takes me home. But there is hope (1John 1:7):
... and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses
us from all sin.
The thing is: I NEED TO CONFESS AND REMEMBER JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR ALL OF THOSE SINS - BIG AND SMALL, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE SINS. I cannot live a holy life on my own, but it's only by His grace and strength that I can. Paul could go on to say,
I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I can too!
Recently the Lord has been taking me through a time of pointing out my sins. It has NOT been a pleasant time. Each morning in my inbox I receive a devotional entitled Tozer on Christian Leadership. It's excellent and I usually enjoy them, but almost always find them very challenging. Recently we went through a series entitled Spiritual Warfare And Sin. It was VERY CONVICTING.
On top of that I have been reading a book by Jerry Bridges entitled, Respectable Sins. Another book that touches too close to home.
Then to top it off is the Word of God. Yesterday, He had me in 1 Corinthians, particularly chapter 13.
As I began to read through the "love is..." and "love is not...", greater conviction fell. I felt like I was drowning in my own sinfulness. It's so easy to say I don't do the big sins: Murder, Adultery, Stealing, Lying, etc. but what about the other ones... Ungodliness, Anxiety, Frustrations, Discontentment, Unthankfulness, etc. (Thank you very much, Jerry Bridges!)? Or this statement, "Every man is as close to God as he wants to be; he is as holy and as full of the Spirit as he wills to be...." (Thank you, Mr. Tozer). And finally,
"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love
does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not
behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked,
thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices
in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes
all things, endures all things. Love never fails."
I felt like had failed my friends, my family, my God. I could never live up to being the woman He wants me to be. My own sinfulness, my flesh, is keeping me from it. I can see now why Paul wrote in Romans 7,
O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from
this body of death?
Yet God is SOOOOOOOOO faithful! This morning in Let's Take a Walk Together I was on Day 129 - Apply the Blood. Eunice Free has a way of writing that I feel she's right there with me. As I read through it, she reminded me of the blood Jesus shed. She came right out and asked, "Have you applied the blood of Jesus Christ to your own sinful heart?"
I know I have trusted Jesus Christ as my Saviour; I did that as a girl of 9. BUT I still wrestle with this sinful flesh and I will continue to do so until He takes me home. But there is hope (1John 1:7):
... and the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses
us from all sin.
The thing is: I NEED TO CONFESS AND REMEMBER JESUS CHRIST DIED FOR ALL OF THOSE SINS - BIG AND SMALL, PAST, PRESENT AND FUTURE SINS. I cannot live a holy life on my own, but it's only by His grace and strength that I can. Paul could go on to say,
I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I can too!
Friday, October 11, 2013
BRING IT ON
M
and I are travelling through the States on our way to a conference.
As we're driving we're listening to some of our older CDs. We just
heard the song Bring It On
by Steve Camp. As I listened to the words, I began to wonder if Steve
would have written them knowing what he and his family would face
years later.
Here is the chorus:
Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll,
let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on
For those of you who don't know just a few years ago the Chapman family lost one of their children in a car accident. She was only 5 years old.
Sometimes I think, LORD, I'm willing to go through whatever you want me to go through. BUT don't take my family through hard times. Don't let my children suffer. Don't let them know hard times. Let my husband, M, not struggle. Let their path be of peace and no pain. This is what I want, but I realize this is not what is good.
Christ has said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.” It's very interesting to me that when He said this to His disciples, He had not yet been crucified. What must they have thought? To follow Christ, they had to deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Him. They were familiar with crucifixion. The Romans had seen to that. I don't think we'll ever know the extent of the severity of the pain, suffering and humiliation that went on as a person died on a cross. Our age has nothing to compare with it.
Yet to this is what Christ called them and us. “Deny self and take up your cross.” We can never know the full extent of what the cross entails until we take it up ourselves. My cross will differ from yours in that my strength, my weaknesses are different from yours. Yet Christ does not leave us alone to carry it by ourselves.
He has also said, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He never meant for us to carry it by ourselves. He wants us to rely upon His strength. The whole point is to acknowledge that I can't carry it. Only He can walk me through it.
What Steve and his family went through, he would never wish on anyone. Yet they have come through it. Two portions of the song Bring It On are:
'Cause I know I've got an enemy waiting
Who wants to bring me pain
But what he never seems to remember
What he means for evil God works for good
So I will not retreat or surrender
Now, I don't want to sound like some hero
'Cause it's God alone that my hope is in
But I'm not gonna run from the very things
That would drive me closer to Him
So bring it on
THE VERY THINGS THAT WOULD DRIVE ME CLOSER TO HIM...
Do we realize that? The cross that we carry drives me closer to Him. It literally chases me into His arms where I can cry and learn of His peace, and receive the rest and contentment that only He can give in those times.
LORD, I can't do it on my own, but whatever You've got planned, bring it on.
Here is the chorus:
Bring it on
Let the lightning flash, let the thunder roll,
let the storm winds blow
Bring it on
Let the trouble come, let the hard rain fall, let it make me strong
Bring it on
For those of you who don't know just a few years ago the Chapman family lost one of their children in a car accident. She was only 5 years old.
Sometimes I think, LORD, I'm willing to go through whatever you want me to go through. BUT don't take my family through hard times. Don't let my children suffer. Don't let them know hard times. Let my husband, M, not struggle. Let their path be of peace and no pain. This is what I want, but I realize this is not what is good.
Christ has said, “If anyone would come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow Me.” It's very interesting to me that when He said this to His disciples, He had not yet been crucified. What must they have thought? To follow Christ, they had to deny themselves, take up their cross and follow Him. They were familiar with crucifixion. The Romans had seen to that. I don't think we'll ever know the extent of the severity of the pain, suffering and humiliation that went on as a person died on a cross. Our age has nothing to compare with it.
Yet to this is what Christ called them and us. “Deny self and take up your cross.” We can never know the full extent of what the cross entails until we take it up ourselves. My cross will differ from yours in that my strength, my weaknesses are different from yours. Yet Christ does not leave us alone to carry it by ourselves.
He has also said, “My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” He never meant for us to carry it by ourselves. He wants us to rely upon His strength. The whole point is to acknowledge that I can't carry it. Only He can walk me through it.
What Steve and his family went through, he would never wish on anyone. Yet they have come through it. Two portions of the song Bring It On are:
'Cause I know I've got an enemy waiting
Who wants to bring me pain
But what he never seems to remember
What he means for evil God works for good
So I will not retreat or surrender
Now, I don't want to sound like some hero
'Cause it's God alone that my hope is in
But I'm not gonna run from the very things
That would drive me closer to Him
So bring it on
THE VERY THINGS THAT WOULD DRIVE ME CLOSER TO HIM...
Do we realize that? The cross that we carry drives me closer to Him. It literally chases me into His arms where I can cry and learn of His peace, and receive the rest and contentment that only He can give in those times.
LORD, I can't do it on my own, but whatever You've got planned, bring it on.
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Mom
This post is a little different than usual. Yes, God is still teaching me, but in a different way today.
Today my mom would have turned 70 years old. I try to imagine what she would have looked like as a 70 year old, but then it's not to hard, because she was diagnosed with scleroderma at the age of 43 and died at the age of 45 because of this disease. In those two years it aged her body about 30 years.
Because she swelled up so much from the disease, she wasn't able to use her hands a lot and it was difficult to walk. She couldn't really reach her feet so she had to wear shoes that she could slip into. Buttons and zippers became to difficult for her hands, so pants and skirts with elastic waistbands and shirts that could easily be pulled over her head became her wardrobe.
Looking back on her life, I see many things. Her parents got saved later in life and her dad became a minister. She made a profession at the age of 14. Life was good.
At the age of 17 she met a man she fell in love with, Frank, my dad. But he was Catholic and she was not. So they decided to leave religion out of their lives. She turned her back on God. The only concession they both made was that all the boys would be baptized into the Catholic Church and all the girls would be baptized into her church. I was the only girl; there were three boys.
Years went by and my mom just wasn't comfortable with us not going to church. So when I was about 8 years old we started going to different churches, what I called "church hopping". Dad wouldn't go, so mom took me and my two brothers (the youngest didn't arrive for another year). My brothers and I disliked all the churches we attended: too many rules, to boring, no kids we knew. There was always an excuse. She finally gave up.
About a year later my cousins invited me to a little chapel. They were trying to win a Sunday School contest by bringing the most friends. So I went. This church was different. They didn't ask for money. They had cool snacks before Sunday School - DONUTS! and everyone was really nice. It was there that I heard for the first time the true Gospel. I understood being a sinner, and I heard how Jesus Christ, God, had come to this earth to take my punishment and die for me. I prayed a simple prayer believing this and was saved.
Why take this time to tell you about me when I'm writing about my mom? Because it's an important part of my mom's life. You see, those folks would come and pick me and my brothers up and take us to church. They loved us and my parents but never put pressure on my parents or on us to come. They just loved us.
I began to change and my mom began to see the changes in me and the way these people loved us. She eventually started attending. When I was 18, I was teaching a small Sunday School class, but was leaving for a year's mission trip and needed someone to take over my class. I asked my mom. I remember she said she didn't feel capable of doing it, but decided to do it anyway. It changed her life.
When I came back that was "her" class. She had also begun to meet with some of the other women for a Bible study. She began to grow in leaps and bounds. She strove to get out of debt because she felt she was dishonoring her LORD by being in debt. She stayed home from church for a whole year, because my dad told her not to go. She felt she needed to submit to him because that's what the LORD said in his Word. She continued to have the ladies Bible study in her home which was okay with my dad, he just didn't want her going to church. At the end of the year he told her she could go back because by her staying home, he knew she loved him.
When she first began to get sick, she was confused and tried to figure out what God was doing. But she eventually saw this as part of God's plan for her life. Because of the aging of her body, she was now able to relate to the senior women in a very special way. She understood their struggles, their aches, their disappointments. A whole new world had opened up to her.
Though there were opportunities for ministry, there were also very hard times. I remember seeing her at the dining room table just crying because of the pain. But she would begin to pray and her face would change. I knew the pain had not gone away but her eyes were not on her anymore, but on the One she truly loved.
Her last month of life was spent in the hospital in Intensive Care. Her internal organs were shutting down and there was nothing the doctors could do for her. The last time I saw her she was in a coma. She had been that way for three days. I was the last one to talk to her. I told her it was okay; she could leave us now. God would take care of us. That was at 9:00 pm; she went to be with her LORD at 2:00 am.
Through the years I've wondered why the LORD took her when He did. She was so young. She only got to see 3 of her 10 grandchildren. One of my sister-in-laws got saved because of my mom. But after mom died, she and my brother divorced. I often thought, "If mom had been here, they probably wouldn't have divorced. She would have encouraged them to stick it out."
But then I realize it's very easy to rely upon a person and put the burden on them. God doesn't want us to do that. He has to be our Burden-Bearer. My family has gone through lots of ups and downs since Mom has been gone. We definitely miss her. But God has done amazing things without her here.
My dad got saved. I didn't think it would ever happen, but it did. Actually right before she died. And he's growing in the LORD. It's been hard for him, but he's gone on, he's found a lovely woman and married her. They will be celebrating their 9th anniversary this year. He sent T a card the other day that was so spiritually encouraging about God being in control and His timing. I was so surprised, humbled and so very, very thankful.
All three of my brothers made professions as children, but the youngest has really made a commitment to the LORD. He and his wife were baptized and are really striving to raise their children in the "admonition of the LORD." The other two are reading their Bibles and no, they are not where "I" would like them to be, but God is in control of them and for that I'm thankful.
Though I have missed my mom and wished she could be here to have seen so many things and people, like all three of my children (she only saw J until he was 6 months old), I know that she will see each one of them in perfection with no flaws. She now has met one of her great-grandchildren whom I haven't even met. I would not take her away from her First Love. But I am so thankful for her example: for the way she lived her life in loving her LORD, her husband, her family, fellow believers and the lost as well (because of her witness her neighbor got saved - a "hardened feminist" - the neighbor's words for herself, not mine :) ).
I miss my mom, but I look forward to the day when I will see her again. But then she'll have to wait, because there's Somebody Else I want to see first.
Today my mom would have turned 70 years old. I try to imagine what she would have looked like as a 70 year old, but then it's not to hard, because she was diagnosed with scleroderma at the age of 43 and died at the age of 45 because of this disease. In those two years it aged her body about 30 years.
Because she swelled up so much from the disease, she wasn't able to use her hands a lot and it was difficult to walk. She couldn't really reach her feet so she had to wear shoes that she could slip into. Buttons and zippers became to difficult for her hands, so pants and skirts with elastic waistbands and shirts that could easily be pulled over her head became her wardrobe.
Looking back on her life, I see many things. Her parents got saved later in life and her dad became a minister. She made a profession at the age of 14. Life was good.
At the age of 17 she met a man she fell in love with, Frank, my dad. But he was Catholic and she was not. So they decided to leave religion out of their lives. She turned her back on God. The only concession they both made was that all the boys would be baptized into the Catholic Church and all the girls would be baptized into her church. I was the only girl; there were three boys.
Years went by and my mom just wasn't comfortable with us not going to church. So when I was about 8 years old we started going to different churches, what I called "church hopping". Dad wouldn't go, so mom took me and my two brothers (the youngest didn't arrive for another year). My brothers and I disliked all the churches we attended: too many rules, to boring, no kids we knew. There was always an excuse. She finally gave up.
About a year later my cousins invited me to a little chapel. They were trying to win a Sunday School contest by bringing the most friends. So I went. This church was different. They didn't ask for money. They had cool snacks before Sunday School - DONUTS! and everyone was really nice. It was there that I heard for the first time the true Gospel. I understood being a sinner, and I heard how Jesus Christ, God, had come to this earth to take my punishment and die for me. I prayed a simple prayer believing this and was saved.
Why take this time to tell you about me when I'm writing about my mom? Because it's an important part of my mom's life. You see, those folks would come and pick me and my brothers up and take us to church. They loved us and my parents but never put pressure on my parents or on us to come. They just loved us.
I began to change and my mom began to see the changes in me and the way these people loved us. She eventually started attending. When I was 18, I was teaching a small Sunday School class, but was leaving for a year's mission trip and needed someone to take over my class. I asked my mom. I remember she said she didn't feel capable of doing it, but decided to do it anyway. It changed her life.
When I came back that was "her" class. She had also begun to meet with some of the other women for a Bible study. She began to grow in leaps and bounds. She strove to get out of debt because she felt she was dishonoring her LORD by being in debt. She stayed home from church for a whole year, because my dad told her not to go. She felt she needed to submit to him because that's what the LORD said in his Word. She continued to have the ladies Bible study in her home which was okay with my dad, he just didn't want her going to church. At the end of the year he told her she could go back because by her staying home, he knew she loved him.
When she first began to get sick, she was confused and tried to figure out what God was doing. But she eventually saw this as part of God's plan for her life. Because of the aging of her body, she was now able to relate to the senior women in a very special way. She understood their struggles, their aches, their disappointments. A whole new world had opened up to her.
Though there were opportunities for ministry, there were also very hard times. I remember seeing her at the dining room table just crying because of the pain. But she would begin to pray and her face would change. I knew the pain had not gone away but her eyes were not on her anymore, but on the One she truly loved.
Her last month of life was spent in the hospital in Intensive Care. Her internal organs were shutting down and there was nothing the doctors could do for her. The last time I saw her she was in a coma. She had been that way for three days. I was the last one to talk to her. I told her it was okay; she could leave us now. God would take care of us. That was at 9:00 pm; she went to be with her LORD at 2:00 am.
Through the years I've wondered why the LORD took her when He did. She was so young. She only got to see 3 of her 10 grandchildren. One of my sister-in-laws got saved because of my mom. But after mom died, she and my brother divorced. I often thought, "If mom had been here, they probably wouldn't have divorced. She would have encouraged them to stick it out."
But then I realize it's very easy to rely upon a person and put the burden on them. God doesn't want us to do that. He has to be our Burden-Bearer. My family has gone through lots of ups and downs since Mom has been gone. We definitely miss her. But God has done amazing things without her here.
My dad got saved. I didn't think it would ever happen, but it did. Actually right before she died. And he's growing in the LORD. It's been hard for him, but he's gone on, he's found a lovely woman and married her. They will be celebrating their 9th anniversary this year. He sent T a card the other day that was so spiritually encouraging about God being in control and His timing. I was so surprised, humbled and so very, very thankful.
All three of my brothers made professions as children, but the youngest has really made a commitment to the LORD. He and his wife were baptized and are really striving to raise their children in the "admonition of the LORD." The other two are reading their Bibles and no, they are not where "I" would like them to be, but God is in control of them and for that I'm thankful.
Though I have missed my mom and wished she could be here to have seen so many things and people, like all three of my children (she only saw J until he was 6 months old), I know that she will see each one of them in perfection with no flaws. She now has met one of her great-grandchildren whom I haven't even met. I would not take her away from her First Love. But I am so thankful for her example: for the way she lived her life in loving her LORD, her husband, her family, fellow believers and the lost as well (because of her witness her neighbor got saved - a "hardened feminist" - the neighbor's words for herself, not mine :) ).
I miss my mom, but I look forward to the day when I will see her again. But then she'll have to wait, because there's Somebody Else I want to see first.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Because I was crushed by their adulterous heart... a portion of Ezekiel 6:9
Last Sunday it was my joy to teach the last Summer Sunday School class. They had been going through the 10 Commandments. We covered the 10th commandment and then played Jeopardy to review all of the Commandments.
The 7th Commandment is, “You shall not commit adultery.” Trying to teach this to children ages 3-14 would be hard, but the point that was conveyed was be committed to one another. Makes sense. But this morning this Commandment has taken on a new meaning for me.
I've always been taught that we should not commit adultery because this would be harmful to your marriage and this is not what God wants. Both of these statements are true. Adultery is terribly harmful to any marriage. And God does not want this. But I'm beginning to see it goes beyond that.
Throughout Scripture God uses pictures of things to convey ideas to His people. I'm reading in Ezekiel right now and the things God has Ezekiel doing to show what He will do to His people is terrifying. I can't understand why they didn't repent. But then I remember me. Oh yeah. They are a lot like me.
Anyway, I came across this phrase in Ezekiel 6:
Because I was crushed by their adulterous heart.
I was stopped cold. The LORD is speaking.
I was crushed by their adulterous heart.
The LORD was crushed. He had been crushed by their unfaithfulness to Him in worshipping other idols. The relationship God has with a person is personal; it's one-on-one. He has to be first place in their lives because there is no second place for God. It's all or nothing. He desires this for each human being.
With Israel He had made it abundantly clear and had made the way clear. He knew they couldn't keep all the commandments, but His desire was for them to see that they couldn't and look to Him to trust Him to help them, for them to serve Him and Him only.
When God gave that 7th Commandment, it wasn't only for our benefit for marriage or because He wanted us to do that, but because it was a picture of what a true relationship with Him should be: One-on-one, faithfulness to Him as He is faithful to us.
The 7th Commandment is, “You shall not commit adultery.” Trying to teach this to children ages 3-14 would be hard, but the point that was conveyed was be committed to one another. Makes sense. But this morning this Commandment has taken on a new meaning for me.
I've always been taught that we should not commit adultery because this would be harmful to your marriage and this is not what God wants. Both of these statements are true. Adultery is terribly harmful to any marriage. And God does not want this. But I'm beginning to see it goes beyond that.
Throughout Scripture God uses pictures of things to convey ideas to His people. I'm reading in Ezekiel right now and the things God has Ezekiel doing to show what He will do to His people is terrifying. I can't understand why they didn't repent. But then I remember me. Oh yeah. They are a lot like me.
Anyway, I came across this phrase in Ezekiel 6:
Because I was crushed by their adulterous heart.
I was stopped cold. The LORD is speaking.
I was crushed by their adulterous heart.
The LORD was crushed. He had been crushed by their unfaithfulness to Him in worshipping other idols. The relationship God has with a person is personal; it's one-on-one. He has to be first place in their lives because there is no second place for God. It's all or nothing. He desires this for each human being.
With Israel He had made it abundantly clear and had made the way clear. He knew they couldn't keep all the commandments, but His desire was for them to see that they couldn't and look to Him to trust Him to help them, for them to serve Him and Him only.
When God gave that 7th Commandment, it wasn't only for our benefit for marriage or because He wanted us to do that, but because it was a picture of what a true relationship with Him should be: One-on-one, faithfulness to Him as He is faithful to us.
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