The Fear of the Lord and My Own Affections

This morning my daily reading took me to 2 Corinthians 5 and 6. Two lines caught my attention:

    Therefore knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others.

      You are restricted in your own affections.

Knowing the fear of the Lord...  I question myself again as to whether I really know the fear of the Lord. I think I believe many things about the Lord. The problem is that my life does not necessarily reflect those beliefs. Thus the second part, "you are restricted in your own affections."

I am tied up in my own affections. Not that they are necessarily bad - caring for my family and friends, wanting to get healthy and stay that way. No, these are good things. The problem is they take priority over the true necessity, knowing the fear of the Lord.

How can I know the fear of the Lord? It's taking that time to be silent before Him; not chasing after the multitude of thoughts that are running around in my head. It is not starting to fret over all that has to be done in the next few weeks before routine settles in again. It is not being distracted by the many different sounds. But being quiet and listening to Him. Seeing Him in all His grandeur. Looking to see if He's coming in those clouds over the lake...

If I truly feared Him, I could persuade others because then I would see Him for Who He really is. I would see to the deep need that people really have of Him. That they are lost souls going to an eternity completely without Him.The idea of them not having Him would be tearing me apart.

But it doesn't, at least not yet. I am still to wrapped up in my own affections. And it brings me shame to admit it. But then... He gently reminds me He loves me and that He is patient with me. Suddenly the sun is a little brighter. He has taken me to a new place - a little bit more fear of Him and a little bit less of me. I'm not where I want to be. I have a long way to go. But He is drawing me closer to Himself. It is and it is not a work that I do... He draws me closer to see Him as He is, but I have to be willing to look, to truly see.

Open my eyes, Lord.

The Work of the Lord

Yesterday I heard a message on a portion of 1 Corinthians 15:58. The verse is:

      Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. 

I had to memorize it years ago and fortunately it has always stuck with me. The man spoke on always abounding in the work of the Lord. And one of the other references he used was Ephesians 2:10:

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

He defined workmanship as poiēma , a thing that is made by a creator, a masterpiece. It's where we get our word poem. As he spoke, I really began to think upon these 2 verses. Now I may be going way offline here, but it started to click with me.

I am a masterpiece of the Lord's, created in Christ Jesus for good works which He has prepared in advance for me to do. AND I am to be abounding in the work of the Lord. The work of the Lord is me. I am trying to work my way through this whole idea. What if the thing that I am to concentrate on is me?

Now I know this sounds totally self-centered, but hear me out. I am to concentrate on me and my relationship with the Lord. I NEED to be completely all about Him and that has to be my focus. When I am focused on Him and Who He is, He can lead me to do those good works that He has prepared for me to do. I can be the servant He wants me to be. My heart will be sensitive to those who need prayer or need help or whatever. My heart will be ready to share the Gospel with the clerk at the store or the girl who is my waitress at the restaurant.

The first part of 1 Cor 15:58 talks about being steadfast and immovable. I can only be those things if I am standing on Christ as my foundation. But it has to go deeper. I really have to let Him be the Vine and me the branch - no life without Him. He has to be my All in All.

So it's not only focusing on Him, but letting Him have His way in me, letting Him change me, mold me. I have to let Him continue to work on this poem, this piece of artwork, this piece of clay.

Last night the other speaker spoke on "the Joy that was set before Him" and how we are that joy. By letting God have His way in me, I give Him great joy.

Oh, Father, change me and mold me into what You want me to be so that I might bring You more and more joy.

Sad Day? or Sad Times?

Yesterday the Supreme Court of the United States ruled that gay marriage is legal in all 50 states which overturns 14 states' ruling that marriage is only between a man and a woman. Many of my friends and family on Facebook are taking their stand; some definitely for the gay marriage and some definitely against. To me it was a sad day but it has been leading up to it for a long time and though I do not agree with the Supreme Court, it was very obvious that this was the decision they would make. But why?

I think it goes back to the Church of Jesus Christ. No, I am not talking about the Mormons. I am talking about the born-again, believing that Jesus Christ paid the penalty for my sins and was raised on the third day, trusting Him and repenting of our sins Church. Slowly but surely we have allowed what is evil to be called good. And now we are just seeing the end result of it.

We as Christians have not truly pursued the Word of God. We really do not believe it. If we did, would we allow the orphans and widows to suffer? Would we be pursuing our own agenda of making my life here as comfortable as possible? Would we still cheer for our favourite team, yelling and screaming and getting so excited, but come on Sunday morning and keep watching our watch wondering, "When will he stop talking?"

We have allowed sin to rule in our own lives. We don't believe God when He says:

          For I hate divorce,” says the Lord, the God of Israel, “and him who covers his garment with wrong,” says the Lord of hosts. “So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously.”  (Malachi 2:16 NASB)

We've justified the things we want in our own lives. We are okay with divorce because, "There is no love between us." Love is a choice not an emotion. I think if we were to test our love to the following standard we would see that WE do not measure up:

          Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.  Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)


Or what about when He says:

          Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. (1 Corinthians 6:18)


More often than not it is okay for a man to live with a woman because they love each other. I am not questioning their love here, but God says to flee from sexual immorality. If you truly love each other, get married! God's design is for a man and a woman to be married. But we don't really want to believe that part.

Just one more:

        You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deuteronomy 6:5 and again in Mark 12:30)

You see, I put this one in because it is too easy for me to be judgmental. I know I fall so short here though. I do not always love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my soul and all my might. I cannot do it my own. I need His Spirit to move in me, to work in me. When I don't put the Lord first in my life, it is easy to ignore the widows and orphans around the world that so desperately need our help. It's easy to focus on my goals for my life and what I want to achieve and what I want and think I deserve to have in this life. It's easy for me to focus on my team and just do my duty by going on Sunday mornings.

This morning in My Utmost for His Highest, Oswald Chambers said this,  We put our common sense on the throne and then attach God’s name to it. We do lean to our own understanding, instead of trusting God with all our hearts.    For too long the Church has just come to accept the evil and allowed it in our lives. We need to be living for Christ with Him fully ruling in our lives. I need to. I need to believe Him. I need to take Him at His Word. What about you?

The Fear of the Lord and the Comfort of the Holy Spirit

This morning my reading took me to Acts 9 where I came across this phrase:

And walking in the fear of the Lord and in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, they were multiplied.

I had to stop. In some ways this sentence seems like a contradiction. "The fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit." But this is the way they were walking. They feared the Lord. The believers had seen what happened with Ananias and Sapphira when they had lied to the Holy Spirit. They KNEW the fear of the Lord. Yet they had seen how Stephen was able to stand up to all the Jews and proclaim the name of Jesus and even while they were stoning him. He was able to forgive them AND ask the Father not to hold this sin against them. That is comfort in knowing that God is holding him right where he wants him.

The question arises do I know, believe and act on these two thoughts: the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit? If I were to be truly honest the answer is no. I take the Lord so casually that I go through most of my day without Him. I forget that He is living inside of me; going through everything I go through. He watches as I go about in my own strength not even checking in very often. Fearing Him? I don't think so.

And what about His comfort? In a crisis situation is my first response to cry out to the Lord? More often than not, no. I look for solutions and if none of those work, then it's time to pray. Even then it is wanting an answer my way, not trusting His comfort and realizing that He has allowed this special situation so that it might draw me closer to Him.

Yet these believers walked in the fear of the Lord and the comfort of the Holy Spirit. That tells me it is possible. And not only is it possible but it yields fruit. "They were multiplied." When I am walking in the fear of the Lord and resting in the comfort of the Holy Spirit, I become the witness He wants me to be. People will see a difference.

I was at a women's Bible study this past week and the emphasis was on the cross of Christ. One of the main things emphasized was God pouring His wrath upon His Son for our sins. We have no idea how great and offensive our sins are to a Holy God. If we truly saw ourselves in all of our wickedness, we would fear Him and fall at His feet, crying for mercy. But He has done that! The Lord Jesus took it all! How dare I think I know what's best! How dare I? I dare because I don't always see me for who I am.

Yet the Spirit gives comfort, reminding me I am forgiven in Christ. I have been made new in Christ. I am now seated in the heavenlies in Christ. All of this should cause us to love Him and worship Him more!

Oh, Father, open my eyes! Let me see more of You that I may fear You and worship You! Let me rest in the comfort of Your Spirit that I may bring You the honour and glory of which You are so worthy!

The Holy Spirit to Me

My daily Bible reading is slowly taking me through the book of Acts and for that I am grateful because I am seeing things I have never seen before. Here is what caught my eye this morning:

“You stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears, you always resist the Holy Spirit..."  But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God.

Here is Stephen declaring the history of the Jews to the priests and Pharisees. But as he brings them to the current time, he points out who they really are: stiff-necked and uncircumcised in heart and ears. AND so much so that they resist the Holy Spirit. He on the other hand had chosen to submit himself to the mighty Hand of God and resist the devil. His faith was in Christ alone and because he chose to make that stand, God allowed him to see His glory and the Lord Jesus fully exalted. He is then murdered by those who cannot tolerate being accused of such things.

I was thoroughly enjoying the reading and the Lord showing me the contrast between the two when the Spirit gently poked me. "Which one are you?" Now, wait a minute. This is about the self-righteous Jews and a man who has trusted the Lord Jesus as his Saviour. I definitely fall on the "Stephen" side. But, God, being kind and gentle, pushed a little harder. "You stiff-necked people." I cannot deny it; that is me. "You always resist the Holy Spirit." No, that's not me! But is it?

When the Spirit prompts me using that still small voice of His, do I always listen? And even if I listen do I always obey? Unfortunately, the answer is more often no than yes.

WHY? Because I have pressing matters to which I must attend. I would rather sleep in than spend time talking over things with God before I get going on my day. My schedule is set and there is nothing sinful in it; all the things I have planned to do are good. So I go throughout the day not even thinking of Him, much less talking to Him about what is going on. I deserve this break to watch what I want; I have been busy working for the Lord. I am to exhausted to take time to read and pray before I go to sleep. And the next day has begun. As I was rereading this paragraph, the "I"s really hit me.

Don't get me wrong. I take time each day to spend in His Word. I feel like I can't live without it. I don't say this to boast; it's a fact. But to sit and actually listen to Him? Not usually. A number of times this week different people have quoted the first part of verse Psalm 46:10,

            Be still, and know that I am God...

I know the Spirit is wanting to get my attention. I am a mediocre Christian. But I am not a great Christian. I am stiff-necked, wanting to have my own way and freaking out when it doesn't go the way I think it should. No, I don't throw tantrums. No, my way of freaking out is much more quiet and internal. I hold it in and then my body pays the cost. You see, I have been diagnosed with fibromyalgia. When I worry and panic, my body hurts and I have no strength. I become useless. But there is one way that I can be useful; I can spend that time before my Lord, talking and listening to Him. The question is will I?

I don't want to be like the Pharisees; I truly want to be like Stephen. I want to see God in all His glory. I want to see the Lord Jesus standing by His side. I want to be yielding completely to the Spirit of God. The great thing about all of these wants is I know that is what He wants too. The question is still the same, will I yield and be full of Him?

The Church

Acts 2:42-47 And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soul, andmany wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved. 

I read the above passage this morning as part of my daily reading and it hit me: Are any churches this way? The group I fellowship with has a tendency to pride themselves in believing that they are a New Testament church. But after reading the above passage, I seriously doubt anyone is.

Let's break it apart. "They devoted themselves to the apostle's teaching." Many churches have great teachers; I won't deny that and I thoroughly enjoy listening to many on radio or Sunday morning or Tuesday nights. BUT it doesn't say listen; it says devoted themselves to. What does that mean or even more important what does that look like? I'm reminded here of the Bereans who after hearing the Word preached, checked for themselves the Scriptures to make sure that what was being taught was according to the Word of God - THE OLD TESTAMENT. The New Testament hadn't even been written at that point in time. Do we examine the Scriptures after we have been taught, or do we glibly accept what has been said? I have to admit that I don't very often. 

It's also not just checking out what they said to see if it lines up with Scripture, but it is then applying it to their lives. They were praising God and having favour with all people! And God was [adding] to their number day by day. We definitely don't see that. How much of my life is praise to God and being in favour with ALL people? Do I see anyone saved?

...the fellowship... I can't speak for all fellowships but the ones I am familiar with, there is a great lack in this area. Our idea of fellowship times are the break times between meetings or any potluck "fellowship" times. The thing is I believe that true fellowship is based on the Lord Jesus and knowing Him. How much of the time when we spend it with other believers is spent actually talking about Him and what He is doing in our lives? We are so afraid of being vulnerable that we hide behind our "busy"ness. It is easier to not open up to others about what God is teaching me for fear I might be misunderstood or even worse might be wrong about what I'm thinking. I'll just keep my Christianity between me and the Lord. No wonder we don't know our brothers and sisters in Christ. No wonder there is so much hurt in the Church. No wonder there are mega Churches exploding - it's easier to go there and hide and be accepted when I want to be.

I'll come back to the breaking of bread in a moment, but first I want to talk about prayer. Prayer: the easiest thing to do. Prayer: the hardest thing to do. It's easy because we can do it anytime, anywhere, about anything. It's hard because it means taking the time to talk to God AND to let Him answer. It's easy to fill up our lives with other things, but to take the time to talk to God, that's hard. But it's what He tells us we need to do. The Saviour was in constant communion with His Father and even then took deliberate times to get away so that He could just talk with Him alone. Oh that we might see our need of spending the time with Him alone. 

The Breaking of Bread. A beautiful time of remembering Christ sacrificing His body and His blood so that we might be redeemed. Our group pride's itself that we do it on the first day of the week, every week. But I noticed, "day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes..." It was done every day in their homes. I don't know of anyone anywhere that is doing that. Were we to do it that way, wouldn't there be a change in our lives? Wouldn't there be more fellowship as we would be hosting people in our homes, remembering the Lord? We would definitely be talking about Him! And with so much daily emphasis on Him wouldn't there be a difference in us? Wouldn't the people around us notice the difference? Would our neighbours become interested in what's going on in our lives and see the difference Christ makes?

As I write this I am greatly challenging myself. I need to change in so many ways. I am asking, Father, change me to make me pleasing to You in all ways. Not for my sake but so that You may be praised and receive all glory.

Faith of a Child

This morning I am struggling with the concept of faith. Not that I've stopped believing in God or anything like that. It's just I say I believe God, I believe in Him, but I know that my actions don't always say that. It's so easy for me to tell someone this is what you should do because that's what the Bible says, BUT when it comes to me, the story is different.

Yesterday I read about the woman who came up to Jesus, believing that if she just touched the fringe of his cloak, she would be made well. And she was! But He wanted her to come to Him. So He asked, "Who touched me?" Knowing that she had been discovered she came forward and confessed everything. Why did He have her do that? So that she could know she was more than just someone to be healed; she was someone special to Him and she needed to know that.

I have the flu right now and have not been able to sleep well for days. Yet it didn't hit me until this morning to ask the Lord to heal me. Why? Because I don't believe He can? No, I do believe He can, but as I thought through it even more I began to think do I have any right to ask Him for that. I have an uncle who was just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. His sister just died from that same disease 4 months ago. I have a dear, dear friend who has ovarian cancer. Her mom and sister have both died from it. The doctors have told her there is nothing they can do for her anymore. I cry out to God for them. They need healing - they need it now. But me I'll get through this.

Or is that the problem: "I'll" get through this. I'm not looking to Him, but looking to me and to the meds that I'm taking. Has this generation of Christian become so dependent upon the "healings" that we offer through meds, that we don't even consider the Great Physician any more.

I was talking to my daughter about this and she reminded me of some scenarios when she was a child. She said, "Mom, do you remember when I was little and cut myself near my eye? You took me to the ER to get it taken care of right away. Do you remember when CJ came to you crying about his finger really hurting and you couldn't even see anything wrong? Both of us needed care and you gave us both the love and care that we needed. CJ got a band-aid even though he didn't need one. and I got my stitches. But in both cases you were the mom who loved us and gave us what we needed. Don't make God more complicated than He is. He loves us all as His children and He gives what we need."

I'm very thankful for my daughter. It was what I needed to hear. I am asking for healing from the flu, thankful that I can go to my Father with my little cares and that He still cares even about the little things. I'm thankful too that I can go to Him with the big cares like my uncle and my friend. Will any of us be healed? That's His decision; my part is to just trust Him with us all.